Really Awful Really Short fanfics
by Cariel
Summary: 60 words or less stories writen by my chica Siena who is too lazy to set up her own account which really only takes like 2 sec but whatever...
1. Jedi Mind Tricks

A/N: The following 60 words or less fics were written by my chica Siena. She rocks the Kasbah. Her former email account blingbling@icefactory.com is currently out of service, so you'd best reach her at soap7@aol.com. 

Keep in mind these are humorous fics not meant to offend anyone. She stole the idea from the awful fics of dollbaby and morgy.

Dean lay on his bed, gazing in the way of the great Harry Potter himself. He had been working diligently on his new study: Jedi Mind Tricks. "Once you go black you never go back." Dean continuously repeated in his head in Harry's Direction. 

 Harry sprung onto Dean's bed, next to him. 

Dean was pleased.

Fini.


	2. Hermione's Turn

Little did anyone know, Hermione had been studying Jedi Mind Tricks as well. Mostly as a tactic to keep Ron away from her. "Once you go white, that ain't right." She repeated in his mind in Ron's direction. 

Little did she know, Ron was the Dark Lord. He blew her head up for being so ignorant and had his way with her. 

Fini.


	3. Boondock Saints ripoff

"Hey Ron, how many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Harry laughed. 

"I dunno how many?" 

"2. 1 to actually screw in the light bulb, and a wee little lesbian to suck my fuckin' cock!" 

They both laughed. 

"Tell everyone, why don't you????" Hermione and Ginny yelled.

Fini.

A/N: More to come…


	4. Legolas

So one day Legolas decided to show up at Hogwarts. When he saw all the girls staring at him, he thought, "Damn I'm fine."

Siena walked up and was like, "OH HEY!"

Legolas was replied, "Hey yourself."

"...so u like astronomy?" she asked.

"Only if I see you in my constellation."

And then they snogged.

Fini


	5. Draco's Arse

One day Draco was staring at his ass in the mirror. 

"I should buy leather pants…" he thought.

Fini


	6. Shoes

One day Harry was walking by himself in the corridor from potions. 

Draco happened to be there wearing his newly bought tight leather pants. He tripped Harry saying, "Watch where you're going mudblood."

Harry, who was still on the ground said, "You've got shit on your shoe."

Malfoy laughed, "So do you."

"Damn it," Harry muttered.

Fini


	7. Ginny

Harry was crying because Malfoy had made fun of him. 

Ginny asked him, "You all right?" 

"Fuck off," he said.

Ginny cried.

Fini


	8. Unintelligent Review

Some stupid ass reviewer of fanfics showed up at a Harry Potter book signing and the amazing authoress herself asked them who they were. 

"I know everything because I review fanfics even though I can't spell," the reviewer said.

"You can't spell?" the authoress looked peeved.

She suddenly turned into the Great Dark Lord himself and killed the reviewer with extreme prejudice.

Fini.


	9. Oliver

Harry was leaning out a window watching Oliver Wood practicing Quidditch.

"Damn, he's fine," Harry thought. "I wish I looked that good…"

Oliver looked at Harry knowingly and winked. "I'm so popular," he thought arrogantly. 

Just then, the rest of the Gryffindor House came outside and started throwing things at him; the narcissistic prick.

Oliver crashed.

Fini.


	10. Tap Dance

One day, the Slytherin boys sat at the Gryffindor table just for the hell of it. They made Harry tap dance on the table with Ron. 

Draco thought, "I could do so much better." So he hopped up and danced. 

"Damn, he's way better than us," Ron grumbled.

The girls chanted for Draco to take his shirt off. 

He obliged.

Fini.


	11. Harry's Tired

Harry was tired of everyone thinking he was so awesome because he defeated Lord Voldemort as a child, so he killed all his fans.

And then he killed everyone that wasn't a fan with extreme prejudice.

Fini.


	12. Siena's Mistake

Someone accidentally Avada Kedavra'd Dean during Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"My bad!" Siena cried.

Seamus stood over dean's corpse. "He's going fuckin' nowhere. Where you going? NOWHERE! That's right!"

Everyone laughed.

Fini.


	13. Snape's New Love

Snape walked into a bar. He found Obi-wan sitting at a table. He sauntered over. "Hey there, I like your lightsaber."

Obi-wan smiled. "Thanks, I just got it yesterday! A sexy, violent looking one with mauve buttons."

Snape said, "Not that one…lower…" and he winked at Obi-wan.

Obi-wan finally understood. "Oh…I see…"

Fini.


	14. Harry's Identity Crisis

Harry sat outside with Hedwig, gazing out into the distance, deep in thought. "Who am I, Hedwig?" he asked the unresponsive owl. "_What_ am I?"

Hagrid came up from behind him. "You're my bitch, Harry."

Fini.


End file.
